Any couple, no matter how bleak their relationship seems, can reach new levels of peace and harmony as long as they are willing to do the work and be open to the process of couple therapy. It is never too late!! Relationships are an opportunity to heal the inner child within us. Ironically, relationships sometimes ends up re-enacting the very abuse and pain we experienced as children. The "Imago Theory" encourages us to re-script the way we deal with our childhood pain, calling upon the adult self to repair the past wounds of the inner child. This deep healing can only take place in a relationship with another person. It’s the "relationship" that heals. Individual therapy is only the foundation. This is why many couples who have only done individual therapy and never tried couple work will find themselves still struglling with lack of intimacy and loneliness.
1. Many couples come into therapy with years of hurt and pain, having been stuck in a vicious cycle of verbal abuse. Often sessions end up hostile where the couple continues their old patterns of using words to express their feelings, which usually turns into name calling, blaming and shaming. Very often the couple feels that marital therapy has aggravated their discord even more!! 2. Another obstacle is that the couple needs to find babysitters and leave work and come in on a weekly basis. Often the couple struggles with keeping their appointments and the consistency that is vital for therapy to work is lost.
3. Another obstacle for couple therapy is that by the time both parties calm down and begins to make headway their time has run out and the session is over. The couple is forced to leave in limbo. They then have an entire week to process the session, with very little tools to deal with the emotions that were expressed, often creating even more tension and fighting.
4. A fourth problem is that the therapist has to share the time betwen the two parties and not "play favorites". This can put pressure on the one who is talking, setting the stage for a "power" play which is the is exact oppposite of what couple therapy is trying to achieve.
Here comes a innovative program for couples that alleviates these obstacles and sets the stage for therapy that is effective and healing!!! Attending a two day intensive retreat offers the couple ample time to explore their feelings, be heard and validated by each other. They are also given concrete tools for better communication leading to concrete changes. In addition, using the non-verbal modality of Sandtray with couples is ideal. As the couple builds sand worlds they have time to process their own thoughts and then can witness and validate each other’s experiences. In addition, Sandtray is an anchoring tool to help couples express their pain in an effective and healing manner; without hurting each other. The couple leaves rejuvenated and ready to work together towards greater peace and harmony.
The program consists of five levels which address the fundamental building blocks of a healthy marriage. The various modalities used are psycho-education, CBT, DBT, Sandtray Therapy, and Intuitive Art techniques. This allows the couple to both understand intellectually what is going on in their relationship as well as heal past wounds. As they go to a deeper level of attachment than just the mind, they can merge their hearts and souls !! Even after one level, the couples regains harmony and a set of new skills that they can easily implement into their every day lives.
Each level is a two day retreat of eight hours, four hours a day, (two hours and an hour lunch break and another two hours.) The couple has the entire evening to process their sessions, go out for dinner and rest up. The retreat is an investment not only in their marriage, but also enhances the qualtiy of life for their children. As they now are working together as a cohesive unit and can parent more effectively. The retreat is custom tailored to the needs of each couple, respecting their values, cultures and religious backgrounds.
The five levels are:
1. Self-esteem - This level focuses on the foundational skill of intimacy. I teach the couple how to listen to their own “inner voice” and then how to listen to each other. The couple learns the importance of having a healthy self-esteem in order to experience true intimacy. In order to begin the journey of healthy love and attachment, the couple has to first establish a sense of self and have each other be a witness to their unique personalities. If the couple has significant family of origin trauma this level might need to be repeated to allow more time for healing.
2. Communication -This level teaches the fine art of communication, which is pivotal in all relationships. I guide the couple in learning the fine dance of communication, active listening and expressive communication. This level highlights the traps of "co-dependency" and how to break out of that cycle, yet at the same time allowing for vulnerability and support.
3. Emotional awareness - This level strengthens the couples “feeling vocabulary” fostering greater emotional awareness. In this level the couples can share there intense feelings of hurt in a safe environment. I direct the couples to become aware of their inner child and understand each others triggers and how their behaviors can set each other off. This level is building upon the two previous levels and allowing self-awareness to strengthen their reactions to conflict.
4. Flexibility - This level focuses on flexibility vs. rigidity, helping the couple to “think out of the box” (reduce “black and white“/ “all or nothing” thinking) as well as building the couples creativity and problem solving skills. This a crucial skill for healthy relationship as many couples fall into this trap of negativity and seeing only their spouses faults. Thereby, blocking any chance for harmony and love. I incorporate perspective taking exercises to experience how the other person feels. The couple is able to break out of old patterns of getting their needs met and incorporate new solutions.
5. Assertiveness Training- This level builds assertiveness, teaches conflict resolution skills, and offers the couple techniques and support on managing the cycle of abuse. I highlight the different defense mechanisms of men vs. women. (For example, the vicious cycle that couples often fall into as the wife yells and screams and the husband shuts down and runs away.) I teach the difference between aggressive and passive aggressive behaviors and how they are equally destructive. I teach the concept of power and control and solutions on how to create more mutual respect. Both parties learn how to assert their needs without hurting the other.
To schedule a retreat e-mail: [email protected].
(Hotel accomodations in Baltimore Downtown Hilton is available at a discounted rate for Thrive Center clients. )
- Candidates for couple retreats: Anyone in a relationship that is looking for greater harmony: Husband and wife, friends, siblings, Mom and child, Dad and Child, Partners, etc.
1. Many couples come into therapy with years of hurt and pain, having been stuck in a vicious cycle of verbal abuse. Often sessions end up hostile where the couple continues their old patterns of using words to express their feelings, which usually turns into name calling, blaming and shaming. Very often the couple feels that marital therapy has aggravated their discord even more!! 2. Another obstacle is that the couple needs to find babysitters and leave work and come in on a weekly basis. Often the couple struggles with keeping their appointments and the consistency that is vital for therapy to work is lost.
3. Another obstacle for couple therapy is that by the time both parties calm down and begins to make headway their time has run out and the session is over. The couple is forced to leave in limbo. They then have an entire week to process the session, with very little tools to deal with the emotions that were expressed, often creating even more tension and fighting.
4. A fourth problem is that the therapist has to share the time betwen the two parties and not "play favorites". This can put pressure on the one who is talking, setting the stage for a "power" play which is the is exact oppposite of what couple therapy is trying to achieve.
Here comes a innovative program for couples that alleviates these obstacles and sets the stage for therapy that is effective and healing!!! Attending a two day intensive retreat offers the couple ample time to explore their feelings, be heard and validated by each other. They are also given concrete tools for better communication leading to concrete changes. In addition, using the non-verbal modality of Sandtray with couples is ideal. As the couple builds sand worlds they have time to process their own thoughts and then can witness and validate each other’s experiences. In addition, Sandtray is an anchoring tool to help couples express their pain in an effective and healing manner; without hurting each other. The couple leaves rejuvenated and ready to work together towards greater peace and harmony.
The program consists of five levels which address the fundamental building blocks of a healthy marriage. The various modalities used are psycho-education, CBT, DBT, Sandtray Therapy, and Intuitive Art techniques. This allows the couple to both understand intellectually what is going on in their relationship as well as heal past wounds. As they go to a deeper level of attachment than just the mind, they can merge their hearts and souls !! Even after one level, the couples regains harmony and a set of new skills that they can easily implement into their every day lives.
Each level is a two day retreat of eight hours, four hours a day, (two hours and an hour lunch break and another two hours.) The couple has the entire evening to process their sessions, go out for dinner and rest up. The retreat is an investment not only in their marriage, but also enhances the qualtiy of life for their children. As they now are working together as a cohesive unit and can parent more effectively. The retreat is custom tailored to the needs of each couple, respecting their values, cultures and religious backgrounds.
The five levels are:
1. Self-esteem - This level focuses on the foundational skill of intimacy. I teach the couple how to listen to their own “inner voice” and then how to listen to each other. The couple learns the importance of having a healthy self-esteem in order to experience true intimacy. In order to begin the journey of healthy love and attachment, the couple has to first establish a sense of self and have each other be a witness to their unique personalities. If the couple has significant family of origin trauma this level might need to be repeated to allow more time for healing.
2. Communication -This level teaches the fine art of communication, which is pivotal in all relationships. I guide the couple in learning the fine dance of communication, active listening and expressive communication. This level highlights the traps of "co-dependency" and how to break out of that cycle, yet at the same time allowing for vulnerability and support.
3. Emotional awareness - This level strengthens the couples “feeling vocabulary” fostering greater emotional awareness. In this level the couples can share there intense feelings of hurt in a safe environment. I direct the couples to become aware of their inner child and understand each others triggers and how their behaviors can set each other off. This level is building upon the two previous levels and allowing self-awareness to strengthen their reactions to conflict.
4. Flexibility - This level focuses on flexibility vs. rigidity, helping the couple to “think out of the box” (reduce “black and white“/ “all or nothing” thinking) as well as building the couples creativity and problem solving skills. This a crucial skill for healthy relationship as many couples fall into this trap of negativity and seeing only their spouses faults. Thereby, blocking any chance for harmony and love. I incorporate perspective taking exercises to experience how the other person feels. The couple is able to break out of old patterns of getting their needs met and incorporate new solutions.
5. Assertiveness Training- This level builds assertiveness, teaches conflict resolution skills, and offers the couple techniques and support on managing the cycle of abuse. I highlight the different defense mechanisms of men vs. women. (For example, the vicious cycle that couples often fall into as the wife yells and screams and the husband shuts down and runs away.) I teach the difference between aggressive and passive aggressive behaviors and how they are equally destructive. I teach the concept of power and control and solutions on how to create more mutual respect. Both parties learn how to assert their needs without hurting the other.
- Cost of two day retreat: $2,500. Payment plans available.
- Hours: 4 hours a day. total 8 hours.
- Date: ask for availability.
To schedule a retreat e-mail: [email protected].
(Hotel accomodations in Baltimore Downtown Hilton is available at a discounted rate for Thrive Center clients. )